Where are we going

So the last five month, god has that all it has been, have been amazing in many different ways. I quit my job of three years which I hated and was sucking the life out of me. I got a new better paying job that i like and feel myself going far in. I met someone who i care immensly about and i still have my family alive and healthy. This time last year I was scared i had cancer, depressed and frightened that I would lose the man that was most importnat to me....to think I almost ended it to stop the pain...One of the things that I have learned in the last year is that you have to face your problems with an attitude that you can make it and it isn't the end of the world. Yes i know that when you are in the situation you tend to think that it will bever get better and that no matter what you do it will only get worse. But with me I learned that the situation that I was in was causing me to look at life in the worst way possible....I can't do that anymore not only that I refuse to.

One thing that still has me a little down is tha fact that I have no real family or home so to speak....It has been three years since my parents divorce and two years since my own....My family home was sold over a year ago and since all these events nothing has really felt the same. It doesn't exactly help that we have never really been an affectionate family but now we barely speak... My mom and i talk all the time, my dad and I maybe get an email to eachother every few weeks....My brother and I have a non-existent realtionship, for various reasons that I will nto get into right now. During most of the year it doesn't really bother me excpet during holidays. We never really created any traditions that we as a family did ourselves.... We didn't dso anything on Christmas Eve or even have a set thing we did on Christmas and I was always jealous of the familys that knew every years that they would be surrounded by people who loved and respected them... I can count on one hand the Christmases that didn't end in some sort of argument.....This years I have refused to engage in any sort of akward family time... I don't enjoy it so why should I have to go.....the only problem with that is that I feel guilty that I withholding myslef, and no I am not concieted, from people who do love me. I will figure it out but it keeps bothering me.....

Yeah

i totally forgot that I had this out here I wonder why i never posted anything,,,,,kind of strange oh well maybe I will start